**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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