very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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