Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
