Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
