You really coming over, don't trick.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
