We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
This house was built for laser tag.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
