This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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