Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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