Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
