Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I am mentally ready for anal.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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