Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
