worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
