You can't motorboat a personality
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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