party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
