Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
