Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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