She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
