drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
