the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You dont lie about slip and slides
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
