I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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