It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
