I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
