how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
