Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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