it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
