So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
