Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
