Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
