So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
