apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
