So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
