the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
