$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
