my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Boobs speak an international language.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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