my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
