you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
