Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
