so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
