dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
