oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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