come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
