Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
