OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
