Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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