Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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