Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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