I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize