pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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