New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Randomize
