ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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