I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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