i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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