i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
