when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
