I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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