strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
